Diary of a Very Tired Employee

Today I failed, Again!

Today was one of those dreary Mondays. I had a Monday catch up meeting that ended up

with me feeling incompetent, inadequate and downright depressed. This is like the fourth

one in a row. It’s been like this almost all quarter (for context, it’s 2024 and we are in Q2. Yes,

I am a corporate marketing girlie that speaks using very soul sapping corporate lingua like

Q2, KPI and Conversion rate).

I didn’t cry today though, which is a win. I’ll take it. But it’s getting depressing. Almost every

day is a sad day and I hate working which is so unlike me! I am usually a very motivated

person. I take a little too much pride in my work. In fact, I consider myself a perfectionist . Back in my school days (Which is literally 2 years ago), I always got things right. I

was top of my course, best graduating student, miss know it all, always ready, never tired

and the whole shebang! So failinggggg???? It feels all too new to me and let’s just say I am

i’m really struggling. I am failing at work, and I am failing at getting it together!

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating. I have a bad habit of building castles of sand in my head,

and things often seem way worse to me than they are. Let’s do it this way I will narrate the

story and you will be the judge!

Last week, I was late to submit a creative (like I said, I am a marketing girlie, which is much

like a tech sis but much cooler (this is the lie I tell myself so I can sleep at night- for real

though, I struggle with insomnia and I literally have to make up tens of thousands of stories

in my head before I fall asleep).

You can tell, I really love to talk, or rather I really love to write. Back to the story, I was late to

submit a creative for SME Day (Not really late, given that its 4 days away, but the team

agreed on a week before). I was also late last week to submit the creative for Father’s Day

(this, I can explain. To be fair to my humble self, I submitted this wayyyyy before the set

date, but I had to have it corrected and that wasted time. Which is not 100% my fault as I

I am not the graphic designer. I promise you there are external factors involved.

Point is, I got a thrashing during the meeting, again. Last week the meeting was all about me

and how I don’t keep to time, the week before it was about how I can’t follow structure and

the week before the structure week, I had a full-blown argument with my colleague who accused

me of trying to make him look bad. Am I the problem? No! I don’t think so. I am busting my

ass for this job. I don’t even have a life to be honest. All I do is work (on most days) and I still

never get appreciated or applauded (which I love, my top love language is words of

affirmation. Let’s just say I am feeling very very unloved (and it doesn’t help that I am single).

Well, thank you for coming to my TED RANT (I am using this as my signoff for every

Journal entry). Soon enough, I will be able to say it on that coveted red carpet). In the

meantime,…………….

In the meantime, I forgot what I wanted to write because my mum and twin just walked in

and told me the most hilarious story on earth (I will tell you all about this later). Anyways, I

spoke to them about how terrible my day was, and they both encouraged me. My twin

specifically said to ‘’BONE IT’’ so, that’s the word for the day, BONE IT.

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