Who Will Marry Adetutu – Episode 2

Journal Entry 2

2/1/2025

How do you deal with God saying No?

 It’s 10:25 and I am listening to ‘Eagle Fly’ by Evangelist Lawrence Oyor, lost in thought about my most recent crush. 

He’s a very handsome man.  I saw him in church today in his customary blue tee and black trousers. You’d think blue is his favourite colour with how often he wears it, but I think he’s just… What’s the word? simple. I like it. 

I said hi to him.‘Hi Tochi’. That was it. Brief. Just the way I like it—until I get a yes from God.

I made a quiet decision not to invest my feelings in a man till I get a ‘Yes’ from God. A lesson I learnt the hard way, after spending eight years of my life loving a man who God disapproved of. I simply cannot deal with another no. I’ll cry. Worse than the last time. 

But, this feels different. I haven’t heard from God yet, so there’s a temptation to nurse these feelings and relish them for the time being.  But of what use is that? Just a lot of nights spent imagining a wedding in Italy and a family of four. 

Tochi has no idea I have a crush on him. He came to church innocently, while I came to church to seek God, but also silently praying I’d see him. It’s been a while since I last saw him. Really, it’s been a while since I came to church. By the way, church was really good today—10/10. I should go more often. 

I just got back, and after church, comes sleep. So, I’m  off to bed now. I hope I hear from God about Tochi tonight. If not, I’ll continue battling the feelings tomorrow. Goodnight. 

——————————————————————————————————————-

It’s been a month since Dayo and I have been best friends. Well, close friends is a better way to describe it. There are no titles yet.

 We talk everyday now and we’re never tired of each other. It’s exciting for me. It’s been a while since I have felt such a rush of emotions and it’s reciprocated with the same energy. Aura for Aura. 

The last time I had a crush was in year 11. Three weeks later, I found out he had a crush on my older sister. 

Sad times.

But now? Now, I am happy. So happy that I forgot I had university entrance exams in a few days. And let’s be honest—I am no whiz at math. That’s putting it lightly. In my Year 12 mock math exam, I scored 23/100 and I was shocked at how well I did. 

Reality finally set in. I stared at my notes, attempting to calculate seven plus three on my fingers. Less than a minute later, the tears start falling. I try one question and suddenly, I’m spiraling—picturing a future where I don’t get into Covenant University because I can’t even multiply seven by eight, let alone find the angle of elevation of a triangle.

I sat in my mother’s office, staining my notebook with my tears and blurring the triangle I had drawn about six times. I decided to ask Dayo to help me. He’s good at math—a quality I adore. 

I sent him a picture of the question.

Dayo: You have an exam in three days, and you’ve been online this whole time? You should be studying!

His message stings. It makes me cry harder. But strangely, I like him even more. I’m drawn to firmness—the soft kind, the necessary kind. Maybe because I’m too sweet, and I appreciate when someone is strict. I find it… attractive.

A few minutes later, he sends me the solved equation. I smile. My hero.

Before I can attempt the next question, my mind drifts again—to him. And this is the moment I start seeing Dayo in a new light. I started liking him. Romantically.

‘Tutu! Were you crying?!’

My mum’s voice startles me, cutting through my daydreams.

‘It’s math,’ I mumble. She takes my hands and starts praying for me. Very typical Nigerian mother behavior. But I love it. It comforts me.

‘Let’s go home. You’ve studied enough,’ she says.

We pack up and leave. It’s a special day for me. All because someone scolded me. Not out of anger, not to put me down, but because he cared. And maybe, just maybe, I liked that more than I was willing to admit.